Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Happy (late) Mother's Day

Y'all know I'm not really one for holidays.  Mother's Day, however...I think I can get behind this one.

I started off the day getting to sleep in while JP got up with Henry and fed him breakfast.  While he was feeding Henry breakfast, JP also made me my breakfast: pancakes and bacon...Yum!  While I was eating, I was bombarded with a host of Mother's Day cards: one from Henry, one from my four-legged children, and one from my hubby.  I also got a lovely locket that JP assures me Henry picked out on his own :)

Then we got back in bed in our jammies and had some family snuggle time while watching Dumbo in Mommy and Daddy's bed.  Then JP gave me a second treat and put Henry down for his nap so that I could get nap #1.  After naptime, JP fed Henry lunch and took him to run some errands, while I settled down for nap #2.  After my nap, we filled our blow up pool and had some family swim time.  After swim time and Henry's nap, I got to pick the restaurant for dinner, and picked my favorite: Chinese food.

Yes, yes, it was a great day.  My favorite part was not HAVING to do anything.  JP did the dirty work and changed the diapers and braved the battle that is feeding time, while I got to do the fun things: playing in the pool and snuggling at naptime.

The day before Mother's Day I told JP all I wanted was to be ALONE.  To do NOTHING.  Then, with my wish fulfilled, I felt an incredible feeling of loneliness.  Don't get me wrong.  JP and Henry were only a few feet away in an adjoining room.  But as soon as I had my peace and quiet, all I craved was my family.

I thought I knew longing as a teenager.  You know, watching endless chick flicks and reading impossible romances and pining for whatever teenage heart-throb was the flavor of the month.  Then college.  Where life revolves around caring about everything while seeming to care about nothing.  Trying to be that care free girl that is fine with just dating and hanging out, while knowing that I really was just one of those "marriage material" girls.

But I never knew that gnawing feeling of emptiness until I became a Mommy.  Every time I leave my son, whether I'm leaving him in the capable hands of my husband, family, babysitter or church nursery, I feel a familiar tugging in my heart.

The tugging whispers "Something's missing."

After carrying my son for 38 glorious weeks, he became part of me.  One became two.  My formerly selfish decisions were filtered through the sieve of what affect each decision would have on my son.  Every morsel of food I put in my mouth was immediately turned to nutrients for my tiny child.  I felt every hiccup, every stretch, every kick of frustration.

Although I delivered my child, he will always be a part of me.  He will always be a part of me that lives outside of my body.  To leave him is to leave a part of myself.  This is the gift of motherhood.

The first time I saw him

So no matter how much the mundane can frustrate me, no matter how many times I have to chase Henry across the room to keep him from going after the one cord that is within reach, no matter how many diapers I change or shirts that are ruined with spit up, he will forever be this child of mine.

This is the greatest gift of all: the gift of motherhood.  And I will be forever grateful to JP for making me a mommy and to Henry for teaching me to be a mommy.

Happy Mother's Day!

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