Sunday, July 20, 2014

1 year.

Whoa, Henry.

1 year.  52 weeks.  365 days.  525,600 minutes.

One year ago today, Mama was in labor, and we were both eagerly anticipating your arrival.

I don't think I will ever be able to fully communicate the feelings and emotions that are jumbling around in my heart right will just have to learn for yourself when you are a Daddy...ok, now the floodgates have opened.

Time has no meaning to me anymore.  How is it possible that this year has both flown by and crept by, simultaneously so joyful, yet painful.

Those first days were a whirlwind of sleep deprived insanity.
Those first days where you slept on my chest, almost incessantly, and I vowed not to even breathe, so as not to disturb you.
Those first weeks of 10 feedings a day averaged 2.5 hours apart and VERY LITTLE sleeping.
Those first sweet smiles on your face that told me you would forever have me wrapped around your finger.
Those first months of fighting your naps, tooth and nail, and me, frantically calling your father to come FIX YOU.
The first time you slept all night in your bed and we finally felt like we had our marriage back.
The first time you grabbed my finger in the palm of your hand.
The first time you smiled at me, on purpose.
The first time you sat, crawled, stood, took tiny baby steps.
The first time I spanked your hand because you stuck your finger in a (baby-proofed) electrical outlet, and you didn't shed a tear, but I cried my eyes out.
Your first Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, 4th of July...countless holidays that meant absolutely nothing to me until I had you.
The first time you said Mama, and meant it.

Sweet baby, I will never be able to tell you how much I love you.

Like so many things in life, often the best things, you will just have to take it on faith.

I know that we have many trials ahead of us.  I know that things won't get easier.  I know that there will be times that we don't like each other.  I know that we will have to take turns being both teacher and student, learning from each other as we go.

But I also know that I couldn't choose a better kiddo to do all of these things with.

So, dear, sweet little one, take your time growing up.  We have much to look forward to.

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